CALGARY — In a last ditch bid to woo voters, Alberta NDP leader Rachel Notley has thrown a political “hail Mary,” which she dubbed a “hail Notley,” promising free oil to every Albertan, “and any other cowboy folk.” Turning to one of her aids, she asked, “Do I say yeehaaa! now or not so much?” The aid advised against it, and she instead uttered a muted “Indeed!”

Notley’s promise comes on the heels of polls indicating she will lose Tuesday’s election unless she promises even more of what she and her party call “free stuff.” Notley, dressed in overalls with a hard-hat and a cowboy hat on top of that, told Newsquips on Monday that she promises “a quart of oil in every pot,” adding, seemingly as an afterthought, “and also free pot.” Stunned reporters quickly inquired as to the availability of housing in the Alberta area and whether they had to speak “cowboy” there.

Notley intimated that media will be offered free housing in one of several new government free housing communities, which she also is planning as of a couple hours ago. “We are offering free everything — except free enterprise!” Notley said to reporters with a wink.

United Conservative leader Jason Kenney said he had no plans to offer “free stuff” to Albertans. Pressed by Newsquips for further election promises and details, Kenney said only that he plans “to finally get needed pipelines built after years of stalling, and moreover, to get Alberta’s economy moving again, once again using the free enterprise and sound policies that built Alberta”. Unfortunately Newsquips was the only media in attendance for Kenney’s remarks.

Notley went on to say that Kenney’s free enterprise promises would cost Albertans “tons of money like before we were elected,” but she would not be specific about how that would be. “We just think government is the best way to solve problems that government created, like the ginormous pipeline fiasco which is clearly costing Alberta countless hundreds of billions of dollars.” When asked if she didn’t just contradict herself and speak up for free enterprise rather than government control of the economy, Notley explained that Newsquips was racist and did not understand “cowboy talk.”