BC to Ship Oil From Iran and Venezuela to Avoid “Right-Wing Alberta Cowboys”

CARACUS — The government of British Columbia will overstep private enterprise and buy oil and gas directly from the governments of Iran and Venezuela,...

“Green” Left-Wing Vancouver to Ban All Cruise Ships, Air Travel, Cars

VANCOUVER — The city that was until now known as a tourist and cruise ship Mecca will move to ban all cruise ships and...

BC’s New Democratic Party gov’t to initiate new tax on peeing and pooping

VICTORIA — Sources tell Newsquips that in an effort to find still more taxpayer cash, British Columbia's leftist NDP and Green colalition...

Trudeau Reveals He Is Actually A Woman

OTTAWA — Newsquips has learned that the self-described "feminist" Prime Minister of Canada, Justin Trudeau, is in fact a woman, putting to rest some...

Trudeau to retract “heart hands” previously issued to Saudi Prince

OTTAWA — In the wake of the American CIA confirmations of evidence surrounding allegations the historically murderous Saudi royal family murdered an only slightly less...

CBC To Start New All-Pot Channel & Website

OTTAWA – Officials at the state-owned CBC have revealed to Newsquips that progress is already well under way on creating a new TV channel and...

MP Pushes for Annual Tax-Filing Task To Grow To Three-Month-Long Chore

"Not hard enough yet," says leading Democrat on the panel. OTTAWA, ONTARIO—Reports leaked from the Parliamentary Tax-Filing Subcommittee and acquired by Newsquips indicate that the...

BC’s NDP Premier To Ban All Sewer Pipelines

VICTORIA, BRITISH COLUMBIA—It what is being described as the next logical step to his NDP government's banning of oil and gas pipelines in BC,...

LONDON TO BAN KNIVES, SCISSORS, STICKS, STONES, CARS, PLANES, CRICKET BATS, AND OVERDONE BANGERS...

LONDON, ENGLAND—If London's strict gun control hasn't worked to stop all the knife murders -- now numbering more than all the mostly gun-related murders...

Facebook To Become A Suppository To Recover From Ass-Kicking

MENLO PARK, CALIFORNIA—Facebook will reportedly acquire drug maker Zillius for $196 billion on Tuesday in order to quickly develop Facebook into a capsule that...

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