BC to Ship Oil From Iran and Venezuela to Avoid “Right-Wing Alberta Cowboys”

CARACUS — The government of British Columbia will overstep private enterprise and buy oil and gas directly from the governments of Iran and Venezuela,...

Waiters Asked To Stop Asking If They Can “Grab” Something For Customers

CLEVELAND, OHIO—Citing a record 85,000 comment cards being submitted to restaurants from around North America, restaurant and cafe owners have finally begun asking their...

BC’s NDP Premier To Ban All Sewer Pipelines

VICTORIA, BRITISH COLUMBIA—It what is being described as the next logical step to his NDP government's banning of oil and gas pipelines in BC,...

Trudeau to retract “heart hands” previously issued to Saudi Prince

OTTAWA — In the wake of the American CIA confirmations of evidence surrounding allegations the historically murderous Saudi royal family murdered an only slightly less...

“Green” Left-Wing Vancouver to Ban All Cruise Ships, Air Travel, Cars

VANCOUVER — The city that was until now known as a tourist and cruise ship Mecca will move to ban all cruise ships and...

BC’s New Democratic Party gov’t to initiate new tax on peeing and pooping

VICTORIA — Sources tell Newsquips that in an effort to find still more taxpayer cash, British Columbia's leftist NDP and Green colalition government and...

Facebook To Become A Suppository To Recover From Ass-Kicking

MENLO PARK, CALIFORNIA—Facebook will reportedly acquire drug maker Zillius for $196 billion on Tuesday in order to quickly develop Facebook into a capsule that...

Gov to mandate the next thing that’s already happening anyway

VICTORIA — BC's NDP government is set to announce a series of new government mandates that will be imposed on British Columbians in the...

Facebook Data Scandal: Will Hold Meeting!

MENLO PARK, CALIFORNIA—Facebook is apparently prepared to pull out all the stops to fend off criticism growing in "social media" this week over one...

CBC To Start New All-Pot Channel & Website

OTTAWA – Officials at the state-owned CBC have revealed to Newsquips that progress is already well under way on creating a new TV channel and...

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