Asked for Remembrance Day Comment, Trudeau Says He Will Apologize for Carbon

OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau will apologize to veterans on Remembrance Day for forcing them, "especially tank drivers," he said, "to spew all manner...

Toronto Stock Exchange to Change Name to BONG EXCHANGE

TORONTO – The group which operates the Toronto Stock Exchange, or TMX, has agreed in principle to change the name of the exchange to better...

CBC To Start New All-Pot Channel & Website

OTTAWA – Officials at the state-owned CBC have revealed to Newsquips that progress is already well under way on creating a new TV channel and...

Federal Deficits to Grow By 26.4 Blashmillion Dollars

OTTAWA, ONTARIO—According to reports from the Globe and Mail, the Trudeau Liberals expect Canadians to embrace budget deficits growing by even more than they...

Trudeau Adopts New ‘Nasty Oil Dude’ Look in Wake of BC’s Pipeline Intransigence

CALGARY, ALBERTA—Aides close to Prime Minister Trudeau have revealed to Newsquips that the prime minister will adopt a new "gun-totin' oil cowboy" look, hoping...

BC’s NDP Premier To Ban All Sewer Pipelines

VICTORIA, BRITISH COLUMBIA—It what is being described as the next logical step to his NDP government's banning of oil and gas pipelines in BC,...

Trudeau Liberals Hire New Droid To Improve Poll Numbers

TORONTO, ONTARIO—Facing falling and historically low poll numbers, the Trudeau Liberals have turned to the "cyber" sector to find assets for their poll-improvement and...

Alberta NDP Raising Wages to $197 Per Hour by 2020

CALGARY, ALBERTA—The NDP premier Rachel Notley is apparently planning to live-up to her campaign promise to raise the minimum wage to $15, according to...

Trudeau Told By Aides To Not Wear Pajamas To Office

OTTAWA, ONTARIO—Aides to Liberal Prime Minister Justin Trudeau have reported to Newsquips that they have spoken to the prime minister about his habit of...

CBC News To Run In 2019 Election

TORONTO, ONTARIO—Newsquips has learned that workers at Canada's state-owned CBC, specifically its "News" division, have decided to stop pretending to be a news outfit...
Advertising...