VICTORIA — After hiking gas taxes yet again on April 1st, which some thought must certainly be an April Fool’s joke given that the taxes are already half the price of gas and British Columbians pay the highest price in North America, BC’s far-left NDP government has joined in the public outcry, and are officially “shocked” at the high price of gas.
The NDP, which taxes gasoline at the highest rate in North America; and which for decades has exhibited a strong contempt for all oil and gas companies and their infrastructure requirements, resulting in a dearth of supply, is telling reporters that it is not them and the big government’s taxes that are to blame, it’s “corporations.”
The premier explained, “Corporations should find a way of finding oil, and then drilling oil wells, all environmental and everything, getting the stuff up to ground, transporting it to refineries without leaks or anything, refining it in a clean way, transporting it to storage facilities safely and following all the myriad government regulations, then delivering it to retailers, who should then be able to sell it for the other remaining 50% of the price or less!” An NDP economist gratuitously added, “Also, the rich should pay their fair share ‘n what not.”
A government spokesperson close to the premier told Newsquips and other reporters gathered at the legislature, “I gotta tell you, I’m shocked, shocked I tell you, cuz like these prices are like super dooper high! I thought I was high on some of our government’s BC bud, which is now available at government stores, when my staff filled up my Yukon! I just drove back — well I was driven back by our union staff — from an anti-pipeline rally in Alberta and we paid like $1.65 per liter and my SUV takes like 350 liters! That’s a huge tax bill for taxpayers to pay for me and so I got the sadz.” Aids told Newsquips, “You can write that he had a frowny face.”
The comments also seem to reveal a possible split in the NDP/Green enviro/left cabal, since most of the left have called for ever-increasing energy prices, so that they become unaffordable to consumers, thus “BC saving the planet from the man-made global warming,” according to their literature. The NDP government’s minister of the environment, Charly Ma’Hitknee-Rhealhard, told Newsquips she’s confused by the seemingly “official lament” of the high gas prices. “I thought we were like tryin’ to you know raise prices so people stop buying it and clean the planet ‘n whatever. I thought we’d be happy. So this is whack,” she told Newsquips. “But if that’s what the premier said I’m totes on board!” she hastened to add.
The NDP’s Minister of Health also chimed in, saying “Wait, are we for cheaper gas prices now? What was all the protesting to stop oil pipelines and refineries for? This is so confusing.” She asked Newsquips, “Why did we raise the cost of gas if we didn’t want to raise the cost? This is weird!” Newsquips could not avail her the answer. She added, “Guess that’s why I’m not finance minister!”
After working closely with and participating with numerous environmental activists groups and their sometimes militant activities for decades, successfully stopping by protest and blockade all attempts by business to create needed energy infrastructure such as pipelines or build needed fuel refineries, a government spokeswoman then went ahead and unironically slammed business for not building any oil pipelines or refineries. “I don’t see no refineries being built by private business, like, so you know, they raise prices because of that demand supply law or whatever,” she explained to Newsquips. “So we’re looking at what Maduro did down in Venezuela, and we’re planning a trip down there to chat and then we’ll probly take his lead. That oughta bring the price down.”