OTTAWA — The governing Liberal Party of Canada, has decided to await the approval of famed talk-show host Oprah Winfrey before announcing any new policy, Newsquips has learned.
This news comes on the heels of Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s remarks which were tweeted publicly to left-wing darling Trevor Noah this past week, in which Trudeau pledged to the charity show Noah was hosting $50 million taxpayer dollars, making it appear as though he was being personally magnanimous.
The tweet has garnered considerable criticism among normal Canadians, who used terms including “obsequious toe-licking,” “daft showboating,” “butt-munching,” “self-aggrandizing crap,” “liberal virtue-signaling on meth,” “tone-deaf idiocy,” and “That’s just Justin being Justin!” among them.
Another tweet by Trudeau has surfaced in which he appears to have Canada hire the controversial former NFL player Colin Kaepernick on the basis of “You da man.”
Citing the need to appear “hip” and “with it,” and “wicked popular among the progressive cools and Hollywood set,” a Party spokeswoman has told our sources that all further policy development will in fact be funneled through Oprah’s vast Los Angeles offices.
“The Liberal Party of Canada will henceforth entrust the great Oprah to preview and sign-off on any policy idea which the regime may have heard about on, for example, The Daily Show, Samantha Bee, or the Jimmy Kimmel Show, and of course we will continue to rely on The View, all in an effort to sound compassionate, virtuous, and of course super progressive?” the source explained to or asked Newsquips. “We’re also getting policy tips from that new Murphy Brown and the super gay Will & Grace show?” she added.
News releases and all policy decisions from The Party will furthermore be screened by Hollywood agents and target-audience tested by The View’s live audience and the Ellen Degeneres Show‘s audience prior to public release, Newsquips was told. “And we’ve engaged Ellen to add an LGBTQRS+2 zinger or two as well,” the spokeswoman added.
A Conservative Party spokeswoman advised Newsquips that they are also working on better virtue-signaling techniques in order to keep up with the liberals, perhaps engaging the services of news personalities from CNN.