CALGARY – Citing the fact that they have now used every photo they have of Justin Trudeau at least 7,800 times, Canada’s national “news” media have sent out an urgent request to all Canadians asking them to please submit any pictures of Justin Trudeau that they may have, so they can use them on their “news” stories and broadcasts going forward.
There are said to be in excess of 43 million “selfies” that Trudeau has taken with Canadians, especially young women.
In a Facebook post the Canadian Press explains that the media have used every picture of Trudeau that they’ve professionally snapped, which number in the tens of thousands, at least 7,800 times each. As Canadians know, the media must include an excellent photo of a perfectly posed and smiling or serious shirt-sleeved Trudeau on virtually every story having to do with Canada, or most any country, or any topic, at least three to four times per day.
Citizens are asked to send photos to any media outlet, social services office, or one of the many new Liberal government-sanctioned “pot shops.”
A Globe & Mail spokeswoman, La Justine Bonnefacteur, explained to Newsquips that “we in the media were a little lax in snapping enough photos of Justin over the past few years, not knowing that we’d be able to somehow make every story about him and his gloriousness — like duh right? — each and every day.”
Indeed, research conducted by investigative journalists working for Newsquips have determined that whether a “news’ story is about Conservative leader Andrew Scheer or Toyotas, an excellent photo of Justin Trudeau appears in the “news” story in 98.6% of the “news” stories examined. An example includes a Global News online story about the new Apple Mac computer, in which a photo of Justin Trudeau is attached with the caption reading, “Justin Trudeau may like this new Apple which may have sprouted from ‘sunny ways’!”.
Unused photos of Andrew Scheer are said to be in huge oversupply, especially those in which he looks normal and not evil, drunk, or suffering from one mental defect or another. They are, however running low on photos of democratic socialist leader Jagmeet Singh of the NDP, and now have no unused photos of Singh in any shade of pink turban.
An earlier version of this story described Jagmeet Singh as “socialist leader.” The story has been updated to “democratic socialist leader” because that makes an extremely huge big major difference whatsoever.