OTTAWA and AZERBAIJAN — The Liberal Government of Canada, in Azerbaijan for a climate and gender studies summit, has announced that a new government ministry will be launched this summer. The ministry is said to be eventually situated in Papineau, Quebec. No reason was given.
An architectural rendering of the proposed new ministry building (shown below) has been obtained exclusively by Newsquips, showing a resplendent structure identical to the Taj Mahal in India. A Liberal spokeswoman told Newsquips that Prime Minister Trudeau was inspired by the costumes and random buildings of India during a recent trip there but added that “it will be built by women only.”
Insiders have told Newsquips that the new bureaucracy will be called the Ministry of Bribes and Corruption. Its focus will reportedly be on securing big foreign government contracts for Canadian taxpayer-subsidized, Liberal Party-affiliated companies in The Nation Of Quebec, owned by billionaires who support the Liberal Party and invite Liberals to cocktail parties and offer luxury resort accommodations and helicopter rides to Liberal cabinet ministers who missed the yacht cruises, whenever they need a taxpayer handout or contract or help securing a contract from despotic third-world former communist nations controlled by the former Soviet Union and now Russia.
A Liberal Party spokesman told Newsquips, “Even though there will definitely be collusion between the Russians and us in The Party and of course our Quebec companies and all those third-world despotic national socialist governments and their corrupt officials, we will not call it collusion, thus making it not collusion, bonsoir.”
Several Liberals, speaking to Newsquips on condition of anonymity, said the Liberals are also proposing that Canada officially legalize corruption and money laundering after their roll-out of pot legalization. “The Canadians are getting high every days now, and this is working good for the future welfare growth and productivity downfalls, which increase need for government?” said or asked one spokeswoman named Pikachu Bedpad-Brown.
“Also, if we legalize it, just like the cannabis, the crime will be stopped,” added another spokeswoman named LaFranc Cortez-Kolkata, who spoke to Newsquips on condition of anonymity.
Newsquips was unable to obtain clarification or confirmation from the Liberal Party Executive Committee and Central Planning Politburo.