NewsQuips.ca (and .com) Writers Needed. (Seriously.)

Thanks for your interest.

I need quippy writers to help write the daily posts. Why? Because as the current sole writer/owner/webmaster (etc.), I can’t do this consistently, every day — as may be evident to you already. I’d love for this site to be a daily or at least weekly check-in for folks. It’s important to post new stuff every day to even make it worthwhile for visitors to check in.

REQUIREMENTS:

• Obviously writers have to be funny, know how to find the funny in the news or culture, and have a totally up-to-date knowledge of the news (mostly political news), and of the general culture. A sense of sarcasm and cynicism obviously helps here, as does a bottle of wine or bourbon.

• I’m not looking to change the site’s style, nor its angle of attack, if you know what I mean. Even a dumb reader can spot the intellectual, political, and cultural bias that we enjoy here at NewsQuips. We don’t intend to change that, so if you’re an alt-leftist or conservative-hater, just don’t even bother. That being said, a good-natured poke at our own side is always more than welcome.

• It would also help if you could supply associated featured images to go with your post since they form an important part of the post, and the style of the site. But photos or graphics must all be non-copyrighted, such as those from one of the royalty-free websites  — ie., sources which legally allow use of the graphic. We want no copyright violations here. No AP or Canadian Press or APF news photos copied from another news site or blog (although there are certain acceptable uses of others’ work).

• There are no editors here to correct your dumb spelling mistakes or typos (I’m sure there’s already plenty here), so you absolutely need to be self-editing and, for example, know the difference between too, to, and two; and there, their and they’re; and all those others. I just hate spelling mistakes, capitalisation errors, typos, and the wrong usage of words. You need to be able to submit pretty much perfect work, so I can simply read it and hit “SUBMIT” to post it. I don’t need MORE work, I need less.

• Pay? Yeah no. The point of this site is to gently sway minds to our way of thinking through the use of humor, a humorous mocking, and a sharp wit. (If you find all of that lacking here now, then that’s all the more reason to prove you can do it better. Or it’s another opportunity to shutty uppy.)
So you will have to look at this as an opportunity to help spread the Gospel and help get things going our way.  Right? Right.

• In order to protect you and your family from the screeching mobs, your real name will not be revealed. You will use your own made-up pseudonym.

Thanks again, sincerely,
The lonely sole writer/owner/webmaster (etc.)
CONTACT